Thursday, December 11, 2008
Pride and Stupid Ego
A couple of weeks back I stumbled on this, and since then, and due to so many things going around, a few thoughts have been coming and going…
When is a marriage not worth fighting for?
In our faiths, marriage is what a couple should fight for, it’s not something a couple should give up on just because they don’t get along; there has to be good substantial reasons for a couple to end the marriage. However, our society makes staying in a marriage –especially a bad one-, a holly mission, for all the wrong reasons! You stay, you’re a martyr… you leave, you’re a coward!
And no one wants to be a coward; we all seek pride in that sacrifice, even if it’s nothing really but stupid ego! That’s why a lot of people in our society never stop to evaluate their decisions, to know if their marriage is working the way it should be or it’s just a futile attempt to keep false pretenses of a good life. Makes me wonder how staying in a bad marriage is supposed to make one a better person when every bit of good dies day after day?!
When a husband says straight forward that he would not grant a divorce, when he abusively threatens to use all his power and authority as a husband to make you miserable if you dare ask for a divorce? Is that a man worth wasting one breath with?! I mean, what kind of life with such a man could possibly be worth living? Marriage is hard, that’s why we’re urged to fight for it, but it has to be worth it, it has to be with a good person who shares it because it just does not need to be any harder.
When a wife uses her own kids to pressure her husband to stay in a marriage of which he has grown tired, does that make her feel loved and wanted? Does that make her feel like a winner that she has a man who would probably end up cheating on her because he can’t leave her? That’s not fighting for a marriage, that’s ruining a marriage and refusing to admit it.
When did people lose sight of that line between pride and stupid ego?! The line was never thin, and pride is something entirely different from stupid ego; if anything, each leads to different consequences. Pride makes you know when you can take no more abuse and walk away with your dignity intact to start a new life, even if against all odds, while stupid ego makes you insist on staying despite all the signs, and sometimes makes you abusive of your spouse making them stay when both of you should know better. When did society promote being egotistic rather than being proud?!