Thursday, December 11, 2008

Pride and Stupid Ego


A couple of weeks back I stumbled on this, and since then, and due to so many things going around, a few thoughts have been coming and going…

When is a marriage not worth fighting for?

In our faiths, marriage is what a couple should fight for, it’s not something a couple should give up on just because they don’t get along; there has to be good substantial reasons for a couple to end the marriage. However, our society makes staying in a marriage –especially a bad one-, a holly mission, for all the wrong reasons! You stay, you’re a martyr… you leave, you’re a coward!

And no one wants to be a coward; we all seek pride in that sacrifice, even if it’s nothing really but stupid ego! That’s why a lot of people in our society never stop to evaluate their decisions, to know if their marriage is working the way it should be or it’s just a futile attempt to keep false pretenses of a good life. Makes me wonder how staying in a bad marriage is supposed to make one a better person when every bit of good dies day after day?!
When a husband says straight forward that he would not grant a divorce, when he abusively threatens to use all his power and authority as a husband to make you miserable if you dare ask for a divorce? Is that a man worth wasting one breath with?! I mean, what kind of life with such a man could possibly be worth living? Marriage is hard, that’s why we’re urged to fight for it, but it has to be worth it, it has to be with a good person who shares it because it just does not need to be any harder.

When a wife uses her own kids to pressure her husband to stay in a marriage of which he has grown tired, does that make her feel loved and wanted? Does that make her feel like a winner that she has a man who would probably end up cheating on her because he can’t leave her? That’s not fighting for a marriage, that’s ruining a marriage and refusing to admit it.

When did people lose sight of that line between pride and stupid ego?! The line was never thin, and pride is something entirely different from stupid ego; if anything, each leads to different consequences. Pride makes you know when you can take no more abuse and walk away with your dignity intact to start a new life, even if against all odds, while stupid ego makes you insist on staying despite all the signs, and sometimes makes you abusive of your spouse making them stay when both of you should know better. When did society promote being egotistic rather than being proud?!

5 comments:

rasha said...

Great Post!
And to answer your question, LONG AGO...recognizing the fact that society is: PEOPLE!
And people get motivated basically by either Love or Fear.
And those who are stupid react to those primal motives by more stupid actions that lead to the most stupid social rules not realizing the harm it affects generations of stupidity to come!

So, some woman would fear being single to the extent that she would get beaten everyday just to stay under someones wing even if he's a monster just because she wouldn't admit she is being abused!
And some man would insist on keeping a wife against her will because he's too proud to admit he isn't worth anything to her anymore.
Humiliating to both more and more because they have that stupid ego.

rasha said...

This video/ song blew me away!
ana shereera but i had to share :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHXZ_peJe9c

Shimaa Gamal said...

You know what is the real problem about marraige. It is that most of the married couples forget why they got married in the first place and some of them actually didn't have a goal of thier marriage.
Marraige is another decision, and like any other decision a goal is supposed to be achieved by it. So we would know if a marraige doesn't worth fighting if the goals of that marraige aren't being met or are deviated in anyway.
As for those marraiges with no goal, it is hopless. A mistake that will bring more mistakes.

An Egyptian said...

All of he disasters we have in Arabia is because of pride and ego in addition to a lot of stuff of course.

new said...

All else being equal, and not agreeing with Schafly, but having a law degree by itself does not displace a more worthy man